For goodness sake, Toyota’s revised Hilux is a truck. It is NOT exciting, enticing, or life-enhancing!
In all honesty, some of the unmitigated promotional flim-flam that is projectile vomited into the automotive scene warrants a major filtration exercise, posits Iain Robertson, who believes that a sense of reality, or even proportion, ought to limit it.
Residing, as we do, in a world that seems to revolve increasingly around the social media scene, I have to admit to becoming increasingly frustrated with it. It is a world populated by ‘citizen scribes’ that possess sorely over-inflated opinions about their personal import, supported by their cadres of little mates of similar mindlessness and lack of information, or knowledge.
Yet, it is an arena fostered, bolstered and supported actively by several industries that believed vehemently two decades ago in the promised potency of ‘online influencers’ and are now so deeply entrenched that extrication is all but impossible. The ‘snapchatters’, ‘instagrammers’ and ‘pinteresters’, from an immense array of ‘media’ opportunists, give off a whiff of notional acceptability that has been promoted actively by mobile communications technology.
While Sir Tim Berners-Lee may regret his invention of the Internet, or at least the manner by which it has been abused, it is perhaps the ‘couldn’t-care-less’ parentage of the past couple of generations that we know as ‘snowflakes’ and ‘millenials’, which are the victims in this mix. Gifted the electronic devices, they have invented their own corrupt language, some of which may be ‘undrstd by tlx ops of 40yrs ago’, that is flowered-up with ‘estuary-speak’ and lazy language skills that display a distinct lack of education. It does not help that scholastic discipline is non-existent, or that teaching standards have plummeted sadly and recognisably to new depths.
This is never more abundantly obvious than in the automotive scene. To a receptive base of social media exponents, who will cut-and-paste supplied information without questioning its integrity and that outnumber the paid-for motoring press/media by an uncomfortable margin, being primed and pumped full of glamorous text and images is like manna from heaven to marketing departments. After all, they care little for valid opinion, or viable critique, especially when it counteracts their florid, product promotional messages.
Receiving the latest information from Toyota, in respect of its renowned and famously resilient pickup truck, the Hilux, adjectives like ‘striking’ and ‘exciting’, allied to emotive verbs like ‘reinforcing’ and ‘strengthening’ are sure to be carried into blogs and vlogs, without sub-edition. The Toyota Hilux is a pickup truck; the epitome of building site workmanship. It is neither of the aforementioned adjectives. It is a workhorse. Plain and simple. Regardless of bull-bars, bling and trim-laden excess.
In fact, any attempts to prettify, beautify, or frill-up the workhorse will only create a negative spin-off. After all, venture off-road, the natural home of a vehicle such as Hilux, whether on the aforementioned building site, to an outlying wind farm, distant sheep meadow, or even a harbourside slipway, and those fillips and trim details will soon be lost to the realities involved in multiple task engagements, never to appear again thanks to steep replacement costs.
Naturally, to the private individual wishing to devour the potential of one-tonne pickup truckdom, or even to the businessman taking advantage of a sliver of taxation benefits, a blinged-up truck is sure to harbour some niche appeal. I accept that lovers of industrialism, or perhaps arboreal, even pastoral activities may find a Hilux attractive. Yet, living with a pickup truck is a challenge, regardless of how many improvements Toyota may have wrought on its time-honoured model.
A new 201bhp 2.8-litre turbodiesel engine that enables a 0-60mph acceleration in just 9.7s on bone dry tarmac is sure to add a soupcon of ‘thrill’ to the giddy ownership cocktail but it will be accompanied by empty-deck axle tramp and the questionable compromise of chassis dynamics associated with body-in-frame construction, solid axles, heavy-duty springs (coil front, leaf rear) and dampers tuned for off-road progress, all prior to contemplating what the extra ride height will infer. The ride quality cannot be expected to be less than teeth-jarring and spine-compressing. The Hilux is NOT an SUV. Although a stated 36.3mpg is a moderate fuel economy return, the 204g/km CO2 emissions could be a road tax related deal buster.
When Toyota pushes out its promotional boat with statements like: “Hilux’s frontal design has a completely new look, with a more powerful, three-dimensional treatment of the grille and bumper, increasing the vehicle’s road presence and reinforcing its robust, go-anywhere credentials”, I feel slightly bilious. Style is an understandable element of the passenger car remit but enhancing the intimidation factor of an already lofty pickup truck seems both pointless and ill-advised. Of course, lighting technology has been headed along an LED road for some years now but, for a workhorse to adopt it, when replacement lamp units damaged during its working life are so inordinately costly to replace, is surprisingly thoughtless.
Providing a car-like dashboard moulding, equipped with colourful touchscreen and information displays, is surely a welcome addition, especially in a model such as the Invincible, with its fairly comfortable crew-cab seating for two (in the front, while three rear seat occupants must tolerate upright seat backs and short bases that are not conducive to treks much longer than five miles). Featuring higher levels of connectivity, including ‘Clari-fi’ for better digital music file reproduction, is a bonus, although an 800W, nine-speaker, JBL hi-fi does smell suspiciously of excess.
Yet, boasting a 3.5t towing capacity, the aforementioned 1.0t load deck and three body styles (single, extra and double-cab) do offer a good range of potential for several applications. Aided and abetted by a willing Top Gear production crew, the Hilux has developed an indestructible reputation that makes it ideal for use by Hezbollah, ISIS and United Nations personnel. Unlikely to receive much change from £33,000, the very agricultural Hilux will make its UK debut in new Titan Bronze metallic paint this November, when UK prices and specifications for the rest of the line-up will also be announced. Finally, be cautious when scrolling through online automotive feeds, however ‘trendy’, while a wealth of information is available, ensure that you sieve the content and remove any dross, prior to contemplating acquisition. All may not be as it reads.
